Three choices

I can make something simple very complicated in seconds, like plans for last weekend.

Yesterday David and I celebrated 29 years of marriage. We hadn’t been to Asheville KHC and DOC June 23, 1984together in two years, and we thought it would be fun to go back and do a brewery tour.

And then I tried to make it complicated:

“What if we invite our Guilford College friends in the area to go on the tour? Maybe Karrie will come up from Greensboro! I already spent New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day with her this year, so why not our anniversary too?”

“What if I invite my friends from the retreat I did near Asheville in the fall?”

“What if we invite Leslie (David’s work wife) and Marni to meet us in Asheville for the weekend?”

Wow! We could see a lot of fun people and you could meet some of the friends I made in the fall at the retreat. This could be great!

Our history of spending our anniversary with other people isn’t without precedence. Twenty-nine years ago we met David’s mother and grandmother for dinner in Charleston while we were on our honeymoon and they were doing a historical architecture tour. And last year we spent the day with Ogeechee Riverkeeper members before heading to Savannah.

David was thinking this trip would be a vacation without a long itinerary (he judges a good vacation by the number of naps he gets to take). He offered a compromise: we spend the weekend with Leslie and Marni OR we do the beer tour/meet friends afterwards. But not both.

That was tough. After all, in 2013 I had already spent New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day with girlfriends (including cooking dinner for David’s work wife Leslie). I was batting 1000.

But I came full circle to the choice I made 29 years ago. I wanted to spent a four-day weekend with David, and did not tag on our friends.

We didn’t run into anyone we knew while we were away. If we had maybe we would have had a beer and a short visit. Instead,¬†we only had each other’s company while we are away.

And after 29 years, that was all the company I wanted.

About Katherine Helms Cummings

During the day I am a social and environmental activist whose professional work has been in the nonprofit world for the last 12 years. Most nights and weekends I am an artisan making accessories with upcycled cashmere and woven textiles. My handmade items are available at The Sassy Gal http://thesassygal.org
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